by Kat Griffiths
Monday 9th May 2011, 19:55 BST
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR. Hello. Been a while.
So I found out that two gorgeous people I know are in love (YESH!) and they did the thing of keeping it a secret for a considerable (almost malicious) amount of time - WELL IT'S TOO LATE - you're relationship belongs to everybody now and we're going to bask in your love and think it's perfect because it doesn't actually belong to us and we'll never have to know otherwise MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
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by Kat Griffiths
Saturday 5th March 2011, 16:34 BST
Cautionary notice: adult content within.
I AM TOO EXCITED ABOUT LIFE TO SLEEP. So I’m gonna shake a little Swearbox out of the bottom of my pyjama-trouserpants...Ahem...
So about forty-five minutes after I left home for the first time (back in the Trojan war) I received a text from my elder sister that read “Me and Mum just cleaned under your bed. You’re disgusting.”
“The dust” I thought “the spider nests” I assumed ...
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by Kat Griffiths
Friday 18th February 2011, 16:14 BST
Walking to a lecture with a couple, he says sweetly “We’re on time, makes a nice change living with you, eh.” – “Excuse me?! It’s not like I’m always rushing because I take too much on for other people or anything?” (Oh crap she’s gonna dump him and then exterminate me with her Filofax. She continues) “Like when we had to leave the house the other day and you said you needed a quickie – I said you’ve got three minutes and ...
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by Kat Griffiths
Thursday 10th February 2011, 22:26 BST
This week I spent my time writing an article that was not suitable for the Swearbox, as this is a place for love and fun and frolic. Please read this more sober article about what happened when I received a RAG Blind Date form describing the sender’s plans to rape me, after which I went on the date to get some answers: RAG Blind Hate.
Ever so quickly then, have the
WEEKLY TIP: Pineapple will make your cum taste good, and asparagus wil...
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by Kat Griffiths
Friday 4th February 2011, 11:44 BST
***Adult content warning***
Dear reader, I think we should do it together. Take your favourite hand, spread your fingers apart – palm facing towards you, put the middle two fingers together, and lose the little finger. Yes, I am also glaring disgustedly at my own hand, but alas we are now good to go.
THE WEEKLY TIP: It’s all anyone’s ever talking about isn’t it – that simultaneous vaginal and anal ...
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by Kat Griffiths
Friday 28th January 2011, 14:51 BST
Last week I tried to get as many men into my box as possible. If you didn’t notice this, well, I’m a woman, we’re manipulative haven’t you heard (yeah you’ve heard and it’s crap: some of us are manipulative, some of us are straight-talking, some of us are manipulatively straight-talking in parenthetical statements)...talking of straight...
The reason I made particular address to men last week is that this sex column is not so s...
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by Kat Griffiths
Thursday 20th January 2011, 19:26 BST
Once upon a time, I sat with my girlfriend’s father (he thought she was straight: cue anxiety attack) while he happened to be reading about a ffff- I can’t say it, hang on...a feminist issue. Keep reading. “The World Health Organisation has a Women’s Orgasm Committee.” He chuckled, and I thought – yeah, I suppose that is kind of a funny thing to exist. Then he read “Anorgasmia is an inability to reach orgasm and is thought to occur ...
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